A Long Weekend with an Old Friend
by westquill
Summary: Patrick comes back from college to visit Charlie for the long weekend. The two close friends spend the nights together reminiscing and looking ahead into the future with both excitement and angst. But the future was coming a lot swifter than anyone could have possibly predicted.
1. Chapter 1: Future

Dear Friend,

Patrick called my house this weekend. It wasn't that late but I was already in bed. My mom knocked on my door and said Patrick was on the phone for me. I answered,  
"Hello?"  
"Charlie?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You asleep?"  
"No." I thought that was kind of a funny question, since I was talking to him.  
"Good. Get dressed. I'm on my way over."

It wasn't a school night so I got dressed and went outside so the cold could help wake me. I hadn't seen Patrick in a while and I hoped he was okay, because last time he would call like that was when he and Brad had broken up. But when he pulled up he had this big smile on his face. And not one of those sick smiles, either.

We drove around for awhile. And while we drove we talked about things. How school was for me, how college was for Patrick, how our families were, light stuff like that. Eventually we got to walking around by a golf course not too far from the tunnel, but I think neither of us wanted to go through it without Sam there. So we walked around in the dark for awhile. Neither of us had a flashlight though so we kept falling. Eventually we just sat down where we were and looked up at the stars. Patrick started naming all these constellations, but I don't think any of them were real. I just don't think the Indians would have named any of their stars "The Kissing Faggots" or "The Menopausal History Teacher" is all.

Eventually things got really quiet and Patrick asked me,  
"You still write, Charlie?"  
"Yeah, sometimes." I told him, because it was true.  
"What about?"  
"A lot of different things, I guess."  
"I think you should be a writer." he told me. I didn't know where any of this was coming from.  
"I know. You gave me a suit last year for Secret Santa because you said all great writers used to wear suits all the time."  
"And Sam gave you the typewriter."  
"Yeah."  
"And I hear she gave you something else too." I wasn't looking at him when he said this, but the way he said it I kind of picture him making his eyebrows go up and down a few times. I felt kind of embarrassed since Sam was his sister, even if she was his half-sister, but I said,  
"Yeah. She did."

And then we were quiet again for a long time. And I don't know for sure because I didn't ask, but I think we were both thinking about Sam. And last Christmas and Secret Santa. And how we missed everybody.

"Patrick, I hope we can all do Secret Santa again this year." I said. Christmas break wasn't far away, and everyone would be coming home around the same time.  
"I don't know, Charlie. It'd be harder now that we aren't all in school together."  
"I know. But I think it's worth it."  
"Yeah, me too."

We were both quiet again for a few minutes, and then Patrick got up, and as we started back towards his car he said,  
"And Charlie."  
"Yeah?"  
"If you get me again I better get another Magnetic Poetry set. The last one you gave me had three Qs and only two Us."

Love Always,  
Charlie.


	2. Chapter 2: Amuse Me

Dear Friend,

I'm not sure what it was today, but when I met Patrick at the Big Boy after seeing the _Rocky Horror_ he seemed really upset. Maybe it was because he misses playing "Frank N' Furter." When I asked him about it he said he thought the new cast didn't have "it." When I asked him what "it" was he said,  
"_ Pizzazz_, you know. The dynamic was all wrong." He cupped his chin in his hands and looked at the his place mat like maybe he'd spilled something on it. After another minute he added,  
"And the guy who plays 'Rocky' isn't cut and hunky enough."  
"I thought you said 'Rocky' didn't have to be." I said.  
"What?"  
"Last year when I played 'Rocky' for Craig that one time, Mary Elizabeth and everybody told me it didn't matter that I wasn't 'cut and hunky.'"

Patrick kind of got this blank look on his face and he stared at me. And after a minute like that he started to laugh. Really laugh. "Jeeze, Charlie, you remember everything, don't you?"  
I shrugged. "I guess so."

We spend the rest of the time eating fries and talking about the time I played Rocky. And Patrick couldn't stop laughing about how I had to wear a feather boa, just like last year. And it felt nice to reminisce.

Love Always,  
Charlie


	3. Chapter 3: Conversations

Dear Friend,

I forgot to tell you how last night, after going to the Big Boy, Patrick and I stopped over at Bob's. He wasn't having a party or anything, but I think Patrick wanted to buy some pot before he went back up to school in a few days. He said everything is great up there but sometimes I guess it's just nice to have around.

Bob wasn't high when we got there, but about an hour into our visit while we were all watching a game on Bob's television he disappeared for a while and when he came back his eyes were red and he kept talking about how he didn't like one of the announcers. Something about "what he wasn't saying" was really bothering Bob.

Patrick was in a really good mood, so when Bob was getting all upset Patrick kept egging him on by pretending he didn't understand what Bob was talking about, which wasn't too far from the truth, anyway. Bob didn't really get angry, which I think disappointed Patrick a little, but he kept shaking his head like he was really upset we couldn't see what he was seeing.

"It's like whenever you can be somewhere where people can hear you is when nobody ever says anything important." he said at one point. And even Patrick stopped pretending then, and we all kind of sat around thinking about it. And then slowly we all stopped thinking about it and went back to watching the game.

When Patrick was driving me home later, though, a popular song was playing on the radio. And for once it was one that wasn't that bad, and I remembered hearing Patrick say one time last year that he had liked it. But it was one of those songs that didn't really have any meaning and was just kind of nice to listen to for the tune and the way the singer's voice sounds, and not really for the lyrics. And I think what Bob had said was still working on Patrick a little, because the song hadn't been playing long when he turned off the radio and mumbled,  
"Goddam it, Bob."

Love Always,  
Charlie


	4. Chapter 4: Promise

Dear Friend,

Patrick is leaving tomorrow to go back up to today he spent a lot of time with his parents. But I think they kind of knew he'd rather be with his friends, so it wasn't very late when I got a call from Patrick asking me if I wanted to come over. I said,  
"Sure."

When I got there Patrick's parents had put out a lot of snacks and there was some old movie they had on with a lot of singing and dancing, but I don't think anybody was really watching. We all sat around and talked and drank. Patrick's parents had wine or something and Patrick and I each had a Coke. Patrick's mom kept reminding him of things he had to do when he was back up at school, and his dad kept nodding and giving him this look that seemed like it was this strange mix of concern and pride. And even though Patrick was probably a little sick of hearing it he didn't show it. He just kept smiling and nodding along with them and saying things like "Okay." and "Sure thing."

And after a little while of that, around when the movie had ended and the television started playing a different one with a lot of the same actors, Patrick said kind of to everyone,  
"Hey, Charlie, I guess you're getting a little bored, huh?"  
And I wasn't really but I nodded, because it wasn't that sort of question.  
So Patrick's parents said goodnight, Patrick's mom even hugged me and kissed my cheek, and they told Patrick to "see me out."

We went outside and just kind of stood in the cold for I don't know how long.

"How you doing, Charlie?" Patrick asked. And the funny thing about it was he'd asked me that before a couple of times the past few days, but this time was different. The other times were just kind of how I was right then, which was always pretty good since we were usually about to have some adventure or something. But Christmas and my birthday were coming up and I knew that was what he meant.  
"Okay." I said, honest.  
"Yeah?"  
"It's different this year." I told him. And it really was. And I'm not really sure if that was a good thing or not. And we got quiet like we had a few other the past few days. Not really because we ran out of things to say, but more like we didn't really have to.

"Charlie?" Patrick said after a minute.  
"Yeah?"  
"I want you to promise me something. And I need you to really mean it, because I'm going to be going back up at school again."  
"I know."  
"So promise."  
"I promise."  
"Okay. You got to promise me you're going to write me this time. And no bogus junk either just to make me feel good. Because I can smell bullshit a thousand miles away, you know, and I'll be right on your tail about it. You got me?"  
"Yeah, I got you."  
"Good."  
"And Patrick?"  
"Yeah?"  
"You're going to write me, too, right?"

And he turned to me and had this really funny look on his face like maybe he'd just smelled something really bad and he gave me a small shove. But it didn't hurt. So I knew it was him saying yes.  
We stood out in the cold and quiet for a little longer until we both really started to feel it, so I said goodbye and got into my car and he waved and I waved too, and then I drove home.

And there's one other thing I have to tell you. I had this dream that night. It wasn't a particularly good dream or a particularly bad dream. And I don't remember much of it. I just remember this one part where everyone was there, Patrick, Sam, Mary Elizabeth, Bob, even Craig and Brad and Peter. And the funny thing about this dream is I can't really remember if it was a dream or a memory, but we were all just sitting around and smiling and laughing at a joke or a story I can't remember now and there was some music playing really quiet and far away and for the whole day after when I was in school and I knew Patrick was driving back up to college I wasn't sad at all. I even got called a "freak" by this one really popular girl for smiling in the middle of advanced english class, but I think that just made me smile more. And I think I told her, "Thanks."  
I don't know what it is, but I'm just feeling really great right now while I'm writing you, and I hope you are too.

Love Always,  
Charlie


	5. Chapter 5: Haze

Dear Friend,

I didn't go to school today. I went out real early in the morning right when the sun was coming out and visited My aunt Helen's grave instead. I really didn't know what else to do. I had my book_ the Catcher in the Rye_with me and I just sat down and read it. All of it. I started on the first page and as soon as I finished I started reading it again. I don't remember if I was reading it out loud or not. And I don't remember if I got through it a second time or not before it got too dark to read but eventually I couldn't make out the words anymore so I just put the book down and started crying. And I don't know how long I sat like that either before I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I don't know who I was expecting but when I looked up in was my mom. I guess the school had called her when I never showed up. But she wasn't mad. She didn't say anything. She just squat down next to me for a minute and held her arms around my shoulder and let me cry until everything was dry and I couldn't cry anymore. I can't remember the last time I cried like that.

But when I was all done she helped me up and we went back to her car and she drove me home. I can't remember if we left mine at the cemetery or if I'd never driven it up there in the first place. When we got home my sister was there. I don't know how she got back from college so fast, but there she was. She even hugged me. Everyone was being really nice and talking really soft. My mom tried to get me to eat something but I said I wasn't hungry. My dad told me I hadn't eaten in a day and that I had to eat something, so I think I ate a little. I really can't remember.

I heard that my brother was flying in. I thought that was really strange. I heard my mom on the phone with him in the kitchen while my sister was holding my hand on the couch, and my mom was talking really softly and I think I heard her say something about Sam, which I thought was strange, but I couldn't be sure.

I guess looking back it wasn't really that strange. My brother and Sam don't really move "in the same circles" up at Penn State, but I guess when my brother heard what happened he kind of went looking for her. Which was good, because Sam probably couldn't have flown home on her own right now.  
Towards the end of the night my brother came in the door. The funny thing was no one really greeted him. My mom hugged him and he patted me on the shoulder, but everyone was kind of stuck like wax figurines all night. I don't know how late it was, I only know it must have been very because there was nothing airing on television when everyone started saying goodnight and going upstairs. My sister was the last to go, and I think maybe it was because out of everyone she knew Patrick best other than me. She went to school with him for years, even if they never really talked.

"You going to be okay, Charlie?" she asked. She was still holding my hand.  
I didn't feel okay at all, but I nodded, because I knew she only meant okay enough for her to go upstairs and get some sleep. She kind of lingered a little longer, before she got up and did something pretty unusual and kissed my forehead like mom sometimes would. She messed up my hair and then I heard her go up the steps.

I felt numb.

I don't think I really slept at all, but I was in that weird place between sleep and awake where nothing seems real and everything is both confusing and makes sense at the same time. That's why I wasn't really sure when I heard a knock on the door if I really heard it or not. But after the second time I heard it I got up off the couch and went to answer it. I had never taken my shoes off. I answered the door and I guess I wasn't really surprised to see Sam, because I didn't say anything. She didn't either, and we just kind of stared at each other for a minute before she got this really sad look on her face and her eyes were all watery, and she walked up to me and hugged me. It wasn't the kind of hug she usually gave me. It was more like she was just leaning on me. And it took me a minute to realize that she really was. And I was so weak that I couldn't really hold her up. And we were both so tired and weak from crying and not believing that we both just sank to the floor right there with the door still open, not caring about letting the cold in.

And for the first time since my mom got the phone call a day ago when I got home from school I wasn't crying. But Sam was. And I just held her and we both sat there holding each other and shaking our heads and not knowing what we were going to do.

"I walked here." Sam said when she could make sounds between sobs again. "I'm never going to drive again."

And I didn't blame her. It was just such a freak thing. I could just see it. A dark night on the highway and a car going just a little too fast around a sharp corner. How could Patrick have known about the black ice? He was probably listening to the radio loud, maybe even the mixed tape I'd made him last year for Secret Santa.

I couldn't think about that because if I did I'd probably never be able to listen to any of those songs again, like Sam wouldn't be able to drive again. Or at least not for a long time. Not until the memory faded. And I'm not sure which idea is worse. That Sam may never drive her red truck she loves again or that Patrick's memory might fade.

Eventually, Sam was able to stop crying long enough to ask if she could spend the night, and I said she could. I didn't check with my parents but I didn't think they'd mind. I didn't think I'd be able to be alone right then, anyway. I don't really remember but we must have gone up stairs because next thing I remember was us both in my room, laying down next to each other on my bed. We spent the night numbly sharing stories with each other and talking until I guess we both eventually fell asleep. I don't think either of us wanted to, but we were both exhausted.

Now I don't know what time it is, but I'm sitting awake with my desk lamp on. I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. Sam's still asleep in my bed. She looks quiet and I'd like to think she's at a place where she's not sad so I don't want to wake her.

Nothing's ever going to be the same again. And now that I reread that line I'm crying again.

Love Always,  
Charlie


End file.
